Baseball Bat Weapon Modifications: 6 Zombie Destroying Baseball Bats

NOTE:  These weapons are flat out dangerous and designed for entertainment purposes only.  Recreate at your own risk.

I’ve just finished a several week writing project that required way too much cerebral effort.  Quite frankly, my brain hurts.  After being trapped in front of a computer that long I normally feel like just going outside and blowing something up or burning through 1000 rounds of ammo as fast as humanly possible into my burning barrel.  Not this time though.  This time I fought the urge to be destructive and instead decided to do something constructive with my time, skills and energy.  Something that would make the world a better place.  Something, I decided, that would make my Mom and Dad proud.

So…I modified 6 baseball bats into Zombie killing death weapons.

If you’re the type of person that takes survival articles a little too seriously then you may want to skip this one because I’ll be the first to admit that it is absolutely ridiculous.  Sadly, though, I think I had more fun writing (and making) this post than about any other I’ve ever done – yes even more than the Ultimate Survival Shot Gun and The Swiss Army Survival Tampon.  Not sure what that says about me but it’s the truth.

So you wanna turn your Louisville Slugger into a weapon against the walking dead?  Below are 6 ideas to get you started.

Bat-chete

batchete-studio

I really wanted to make a version of the rusty spiked bat that everyone thinks of when they allow themselves to wonder about such things.  However, I wanted it to be different than anything I’d ever seen before.  What better way to make it different than to mount a machete to the end?  So that’s what I did.  A 12″ machete blade is bolted right into the end of the bat.  But that’s not it.  Just in case the machete blade doesn’t do the trick, eight massive steel spikes shroud the base for some extra collateral damage.  I topped it off with a cobra weave wrist lanyard because I don’t want an aggressive zombie running off with my bat just in case it gets stuck.  Batter up!

batchete-creek-stewart

batchete-2x4

batchete-peering

 

‘Tina

tina-studio

I call this one Tina for short.  Concertina wire, or popularly called razor wire, is some nasty stuff.  It’s like barbed wire except instead of barbs it’s lined with razors.  Typically reserved for warfare and to line the perimeter of maximum security prisons, I figured a nice nest of this stuff fence stapled around a baseball bat would be a pretty formidable zombie face smasher.  Geez, I cut my hands up wearing leather welding gloves just wrapping this ‘death wire’ around the bat.  I understand first hand why this stuff has such a bad reputation.  I remember watching prison break movies thinking, “I bet I could crawl over that razor wire.”  Well let me tell you, there ain’t no freakin’ way you’re crawling over this stuff.  Concertina wire was birthed in warfare and it gives off that eerie feeling when you look at and handle it.  If plants grow in hell I imagine they look like this stuff.  “Hey, zombie, I want you to meet someone.  Her name’s ‘Tina.”

tina-window

tina-creek-stewart-wilderness

The Flail

flail-studio

Oooouch!  With it’s roots in the Middle Ages, the Flail is absolutely barbaric.  I cut the last 6″ off a normal bat, connected it to a steel chain and then studded it with archery field target points.  This thing hurts just holding it in your hand.  These target points actually screw into studs that I mounted into the wood.  You could theoretically replace all of these field points with razor broad-heads if you wanted a spiked razor bat but the idea is to be able to replace damaged spikes ‘on-the-fly’ with a pocket full of extra points.  The spiral wrap paracord handle gives plenty of grip when the G’s from spinning try to rip it out of your hand.  The amount of momentum generated with just a couple rotations of the 5 pound spiked head is terrifying.  I think this weapon could actually elicit FEAR in ZOMBIES.  That’s how scary this thing is once it gets-a-spinnin’.  Home Run every time – guaranteed!

flail-spikes

flail-waist

flail-handle

Shard

glass-bat-studio

Look what you can do with a few busted bottles, some Liquid Nails adhesive, a L-ville Slugger and some demented creativity!  I should call this bat THE SHREDDER because that is what it would do to a zombie’s head, neck, face and chest with just one whack.  It’s a beautiful bat actually.  When the sun flickers through the colored glass it almost looks artistic and maybe a little magical.  I think the real magic of this bat, though, is it’s ability to make a zombie’s head completely disappear!

glass-bat-creek-stewart

nibw-survivalsnapshot-labels-small

The Scorpion

scorpion-studio

This 4 sectioned bat gets ’em going and coming.  The middle two sections are studded with razor sharp steel spikes.  These are for gripping and ripping.  I’ve mounted a custom piece of weaponry to the end of the ‘scorpion’s tail’.  I took the pick from an ice ax and mounted it to a custom made steel spike.  This then gets bolted through the bat – a deep penetrating spike on one side and a jagged ice ax head on the other – no venom necessary!  This piece is best used as a whip – similar to how a scorpion whips it’s tail into prey.  The SPIKE and YANK motion is sure to do the trick on any approaching zombie.

scorpion-spikes

scorpion-creek-stewart

scorpion-stinger

Silent Night Sucka’

silent-night-studio

I thought this triple deckered beauty resembled a Christmas tree when I first held it up so I’ve lovingly dubbed it Silent Night.  I thought that was an appropriate name seeing that’s exactly what will happen if you clock a zombie with it.  Silent Night Sucker.  Nothing like a good game of zombie tee-ball.  A spiral wrap paracord handle gives plenty of grip because I imagine this thing would get covered in zombie muck pretty quick.  The three circular saw blades are razor sharp and I can’t even imagine the damage they could inflict if swung with proper form.  Heck, forget form, it wouldn’t matter – just swing it any old way you want.  “Swing away, Merrill.  Merrill, swing away.”

silent-night-duct-tape

silent-night-silhouette

silent-night-handle-wrap

Conclusion

See, I told you I wanted to do something constructive and I’m positive the world is a better place now having seen these zombie death bats.  Whether or not my parents are proud is still to be determined…

What would your zombie death bat look like?  Have a great week!

Remember, it’s not IF but WHEN,

creek-stewart-survivalist

PS-  Several of these bats required some woodworking cuts, drilling and notches beyond my pay grade and skill level. I’d like to give a special THANK YOU to my Uncle Jerry who helped make the vision for some of these Zombie Death Bats a reality.

 

Comments

  1. Damn!! That is some ugly looking mods! Love it!! Thanks for sharing, Creek!

  2. Let’s back up for a moment from the zombie apocalypse and discuss intruders into the home/self-defense. Conventional wisdom is that if an intruder sees a homeowner with a gun, that will typically be enough to scare them out of the house. I wonder which scores higher on the “I just messed my pants” scale – a 12-gauge shotgun, or the “Silent Night Sucka?”

    • John, I’m guessing the intruder will think “that is one psychotic person” and never attempt to break into that house again.
      I almost messed my pants when I got Creek’s newsletter. I love the way he thinks.

  3. Good question, John. I recently pondered the mental deterrent of my machete. These bad boys certainly rank high on the scale.

    Creek, I like the looks of them all. I actually did a lol at shard. Very creative. My first thought on the Flail was, good, the chain doesn’t look long enough so you can flail your own hands. But scorpion certainly could wrap around and sting you. Ouch!

  4. Ty Gladden says:

    Hey Creek! Very entertaining post! Years ago, I actually cut a Slugger lengthwise in half at the top (made a groove) and double bolted a saw blade in it that way, much like what founded with the machete blade. Wasn’t even thinking Bout zombies when I did it either. Was just a fun project 🙂 I still have it someplace… think it is in storage LoL

    The Shard is definitely my favorite of all you made 🙂 it is rather much like an art piece. And that art, is evisceration! LoL

    Take care Creek!
    Ty “the Leftcoastist” Gladden

  5. I like all but for one the with the glass…I like Ilike

  6. Tom Carver says:

    very cool, but i think i would do more damage to me than to the zombies, unless i had plenty of uninterrupted training time.

  7. David Overfield says:

    Good Sir; I can think of better weapons than that. Have you ever seen an ancient Bill weapon? Turn a bat into one of those. Start with a bat that has a lead core (probably have to have one custom made) , then have a blade attached that starts half way up bat, and up the bat & over the top. You would need to get a short, fat bat so you could build up tip speed. David.
    P.S- think I could get a reply from you. There are a lot of ancient weapons, especially Chinese!

  8. Did you use any specific bats or did you just use what you were able to scrounge up from yard sales and eBay?

  9. These are so amazing! I am going to start making a few…starting with the SHREDDER! Thanks for a great article!

Creek's new survival fiction novel, RUGOSA, now available on Amazon.com!